Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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