New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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