Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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