so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
