Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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