Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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