it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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