you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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