Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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