ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
