If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Small penises have feelings too.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
