do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
