Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How does it feel to date your dad?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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