I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
