That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
