Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can text with my tongue
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
