I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize