Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just saw a hot homeless man
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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