It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
