her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
