ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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