It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
