i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
