it wasn't lemon gatorade
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
