in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
