You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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