Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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