Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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