also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
