Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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