im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
