So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
