Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
