I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
