I heard we made out
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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