I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
