it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize