Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
PANTIES FOUND
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
