My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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