we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
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