I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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