i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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