"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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