Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
