the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
