You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize