So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
