you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
