How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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