bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
