Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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