Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Girls should come with a carfax report
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
