You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
