O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
