You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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