So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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