I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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