three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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