I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
